The Poison of Perfection
Being a human is a funny thing … sometimes it’s glorious and sometimes it’s a bit sad, but most of the time we just kind of hang out in the middle letting routines, habits, society and advertisers guide us. Automatons in our catatonic state…
alarm goes off - scroll through Instagram - wake up, brush your teeth - put on shoes, go for a run - come home, shower - make coffee, go to work - answer emails & phone calls - eat lunch - more emails & phone calls - online shopping - drive home in traffic - arrive home, put on comfy pants and relax in front of tv - make frozen dinner - check Facebook - feed pets - watch Netflix - go to sleep - REPEAT
Mix / match, add kids, subtract pets, water your garden, bake some cookies … the basics remain the same.
And yet… your mind, your soul, YOU crave more! Your brain thrives off diversity. Studies have shown your happiness does to! Not drinks on Friday night diversity (though those nights are great too!); more like trips to Disneyland or that cupcake business you started in college or that new blog or photography class you’ve been dreaming of kind of rebellious routine breaking brain curve ball! :)
But …. doing more is kind of scary no?
What if people laugh at me? What if my friends mock me for saving my money instead of spending it!? Am I allowed to act like I don’t have money or choose not to spend it on that extra glass of wine? What if my co-workers see my blog and think ‘what an idiot!?’ What if I put myself out there, try my hardest and fail flat on my face with every person I know holding out their finger and laughing at me like a bad teenage movie?
And this is why being human is so funny! Honestly, when is the last time, you held your finger out and laughed at someone calling them an idiot? (If ever!?) That friend of yours from high school who you saw on Shark Tank… did you call up your three best friends so you could have a mock-a-thon? Or …. did you admire her and think, “Wow, that’s cool!” …. “How brave!!” … “Oh man, I’m so jealous!” … “I should do that!” …. “That is so inspirational!” …. “I’m so proud!” … “If she did that! … Why can’t I start that baking blog I’ve been dreaming of!?”
So why don’t we all have our own cooking blogs, photography shops on Etsy and amazing female support groups? Why do we keep going back to our safe, boring, wake up, work, Netflix routines? That my friend is the million dollar question to which I think I have the answer.
If you know me, you know I love a good F*** bomb! Speak up, speak your truth, be you! However, there is one word I avoid like the plague! The “P-word” (Perfection.) The unattainable nonsensical toxic unicorn that plagues humans into inaction.
I have never known a more damaging, catastrophic, demeaning word!
I know of no other word that causes such trama, oppression and literally kills: dreams, lives, happiness.
It may be the most serious epidemic of our time! Something we all need to stand together against!
I see it all around me, in my sister, my best friends, my spouse, and yes, myself! Even with my hyper awareness of this disease, I still suffer greatly from it! Why haven’t I posted to my blog since February? Why did I take down “The Wealth Babe” Instagram I started last year so fire-y and full of passion to share everything I’d learned about passive income, real estate investing and financial freedom? Heck, that was like the 800th blog I’ve started then taken down! Why don’t I proudly embrace all my projects, flaws, and dreams of living on modern fairy tale farm? If you guessed the P-word then you may be catching on to the problem here.
So unless you passionately love the drab routines of traffic, emails, TPS reports, scrolling for 20 minutes as your daily cardio and competing in the Netflix Couch Potato Olympics (Netflix --> This should be a thing! :)), let's stop comparing and come together and ban “P” from our lives!
Start anywhere, be messy, try, fail, try again. Forget “P” and just go for it! Try that cooking course, post that crooked ass macrame you made last week, that skirt you sewed, your garden, those ugly-delicious cookies you made! Share your excitement that you increased your credit score 50 points, that you bought your first house, that you failed your realtor exam again! You don’t have to be a CEO boss babe, Michelle Obama, The Skinny Confidential or The Barefoot Blonde! (Who are promise are all crazy imperfect too!) Me, You, Us , we all have to stop playing the comparison game! The people we love and admire are there for inspiration and entertainment not for us to be jealous of! Jealousy after all, if just a fancy word for overestimating others and underestimating yourself.
I promise you one crazy magical outcome! The less you “P” all over yourself and instead, put yourself out there, the more real people you will meet. Your “tribe” or “crew” if you will, they’re out there. They made ugly-delicious cookies yesterday, love their pet chickens, have trouble trying to their fiddle leaf fig and succulents alive and feel strung out after a day with their toddlers. The key is to strive for these real connections by being real about who you are and what you love. Strive consistently, over time; even if you only got 5 likes on each of your photos - keep posting!. Be the most authentic version of yourself. Turn off your phone and journal for an hour if you have no idea who you are and want to be. And then …. just put it out there!!!!
We need diversity! We need uniqueness! We need middle women and every day women as much as we need models and makeup tutorials. To be cliche AF, the world needs your gifts and your sisters need you to be a part of their community.
Take the challenge to stop “P”ing all over yourself and let the magic ensue. <3
- Xoxo - StevieAnn Nance - The Wealth Babe